


Colors On A Canvas

by carrotcouple



Series: I See How The Colors Surround You [1]
Category: Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn
Genre: Complex feelings, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, M/M, Misunderstandings, Past Abuse, Soulmates, all other ships aside from jaekihak, are minor, i promise this is not as scary as the tags suggest, soowon being an idiot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:47:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24218362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carrotcouple/pseuds/carrotcouple
Summary: The doctors told him that he was missing two colors. He didn’t really understand it as a child.Kija’s mother was the only one that treated Kija like he was a whole person. She let Kija sit on her bed and she told him one day he would meet two people who would let him see what the world really looked like.
Relationships: An Lili/Soo-Won, Jae-Ha/Son Hak/Kija, Kaya/Zeno (Akatsuki no Yona), Yona/Yoon | Yun (Akatsuki no Yona)
Series: I See How The Colors Surround You [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1748044
Comments: 11
Kudos: 28





	Colors On A Canvas

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ephemerality](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ephemerality/gifts).



> I wrote this two years ago for my wifey's birthday and FINALLY DECIDED I'M GONNA POST IT. JaeKiHak is one of my favorite ships to write, honestly.

The doctors told him that he was missing two colors. He didn’t really understand it as a child. But his father worried - although he wouldn’t tell him - and his grandmother would look at him like he was broken. It didn’t make sense to Kija. One of the first few things children learned was the color system, in order to understand that they all were missing colors and would meet someone who would complete the light in their eyes. Kija was the only child that was missing two colors. His grandmother asked the doctor if there was some kind of mistake, if Kija being unable to see one color simply impaired how he saw the other color. The doctor said no. Kija really couldn’t see two colors.

As a child, Kija didn’t know how that would affect his life. But it became obvious when his grandmother told him to keep it a secret that he couldn’t see two colors but people found out anyways. Mothers whispered about him and children called him weird. Kija was seven when all the children in class started ostracizing him and then he was pushed into a busy street by another boy and almost died. After that Kija was pulled out of school and home schooled. Only specially interviewed and carefully picked helpers were allowed at home. Even the ones that helped take care of his mother had to be replaced. 

His grandmother acted like he was to be pitied, like he was disabled in some way. His father told him that he was fine just the way he was but still tended to treat Kija like he made of precious glass. Kija’s mother was the only one that treated Kija like he was a whole person. She let Kija sit on her bed and she told him one day he would meet two people who would let him see what the world really looked like. And maybe he would let them into his life or maybe they would only cross paths and never meet each other again. Maybe they would love each other so much, they wouldn’t be able to bear being apart or maybe they would become friends and enjoy each other’s company. It was for Kija to decide. 

Kija wasn’t broken. He wasn’t pitiful or strange either. He just had two important people he would meet one day. And maybe, they would stay just as important or maybe become even more important to each other as the days went by. 

According to his teacher, cases like his weren’t rare, but they weren’t common either. People tended to naturally shun what wasn’t the norm and so Kija was considered unusual by a large number of people. Kija had his lessons alone, he stayed inside of his house alone. His grandmother and father were busy people and his mother couldn’t continuously be with him. She was sick after all. Silence and loneliness was a far too common norm for Kija. Kija yearned to go out and to meet people. He hated being inside. 

Kija was seventeen when he was told that the Hiryuu family was going to visit for dinner. He had heard of the well known family. They were a wealthy business family that were apparently descendants of the former monarchy. Kija usually didn’t attend such meeting or meals, but when he did he was carefully excluded from the conversation by his father and grandmother. Colors was one of the first few topics to be breached after all. Especially when it came to families like Kija’s. If Kija could see all his colors and wasn’t together with the person that showed him the world, it was a perfect opportunity for the other side to propose a blind date or something of the sort with someone from their side.

But the Hiryuu family dinner wasn’t one that Kija could avoid, so he had been carefully training himself to answer any kind of question. He was walking away from the library after being told the Hiryuu family had arrived twenty minutes ago when he heard someone behind him. There were two voices and both of them were voices Kija didn’t recognize. Panicking, he tried to move out of sight as fast as possible when a deep voice called out to him. Kija turned around and dropped all of his books.

Son Hak was well known as Hiryuu Yona’s childhood friend who she grew up with and her personally assigned bodyguard despite him being just her age. Son Hak was blue. But not the kind of blue Kija had expected him to be. Kija had expected him to be the color of pale blue ribbons and robin blue eggs. Kija expected him to be the color of his own eyes that he could now see in the tinted window next to himself. Son Hak wasn’t that blue. Son Hak was blue, but he was the color of night. He was the color of the depths of the sea, he was the color of the ink that stained Kija’s fingers and notebooks, he was the color of the sky in the early morning and the night, he was the color around the edges of the moon, he was one of the colors in Kija’s life and Kija had been waiting for him.

“Hak?” the girl at his side asked and then Kija was pulled back to reality. 

“I-I-I’m so sorry!” Kija exclaimed, his face heating up as he quickly bent down to pick up all of his books. “Ca-can I help you? Are y-you lost? This is near the private library. I can h-help you back if you need m-me to-”

“Hak! Is he green?” The girl asked excitedly and Kija froze up, his fingers shaking. Hak was staring at him as if he had just seen a ghost.

“No...he’s not the color green,” Hak said slowly and Kija’s heart thumped loudly in his ears. Green...Kija couldn’t see green either. “He’s...white…”

“White?” the girl asked in confusion.

“Who are you?” Hak demanded to know.

“A-ah, I’m sorry...um...welcome to the Hakuryuu Residence...I’m Hakuryuu Kija,” Kija clutched his books tightly to himself.

“Yona! Hak! There you both are! I keep telling the both of you to make sure you don’t wander off while leaving me behind! Why ca-” A blond haired boy stepped around the corner.

“Soowon, shush!” Yona hissed. “Come on, let’s get out of here. Hak, you can talk to Kija!” And then Yona disappeared, dragging Soowon with her. Kija didn’t know what to do. He hadn’t been prepared to meet one of his soulmates. Before Kija could figure out what to do, Hak had walked up to him, leaving barely any distance between them. 

“What color am I?” Hak asked Kija and Kija flushed bright red. 

“You’re blue...you’re the color of night,” Kija whispered. Kija curled his fingers around the book spines. “What c-color am I?”

“You’re white...no...to be exact...you’re the color of light,” Hak moved and held out a hand as if asking for a handshake. “I didn’t know I was looking for you, but here you are. I’m Son Hak.”

“I’m Hakuryuu Kija,” Kija unwrapped one arm from his books and took Hak’s hand. He looked up at Hak who was annoyingly taller than him even though he was a year younger and felt like he was being sucked into his eyes. “I don’t suppose you plan on...um...just crossing paths and leaving it at that?” 

Hak grinned, his smile almost teasing and sly.

“Oh no, I’m afraid you and I are going to become terribly close.”

* * *

“God, Yona, how many times do I have to tell you stop wearing white?” Hak groaned and leaned back, moving a hand over his eyes. “It looks so weird.”

“And you’re the only one who says it looks weird, stupid Hak,” Yona hissed. “Dad had this specially made for me. I’m not going to let your annoyingness stop me from wearing this.” Hak grumbled and turned on his side. He had no idea why he found the color white so lackluster and dull either. Everyone else seemed to love the color. It wasn’t like he couldn’t see white. The color that Hak couldn’t see was green. But somehow the color white seemed incomplete, boring, dull. He didn’t tell that to anyone other than Soowon, Yona and his gramps though.

“I’m going to wear blue to the dinner then,” Hak shrugged and got up.

“You know, wearing a color I can’t see isn’t really going to bug me the way it bugs you, right?” Yona asked.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Hak waved his hand in her direction. 

The Hakuryuu mansion was larger than the mansion that housed Hak and his many adopted siblings and that said a lot. From what Hak had heard, they were only a four member family. Hak tried not to roll his eyes. Why did people feel the need to have space to fit an entire country into their house when they could all fit in one room? And almost everything in the house was white! It was so annoying! The walls were white! The people wore white! There was very little color. 

“The children can explore if they like, there are staff everywhere, so they can always find a way back,” the old lady in the front said. She was the former head of the family, so it seemed. Hak didn’t wait for anything more, he grabbed Yona’s arm and dragged her away, leaving Soowon in the middle of gushing over some antique.

“Hak, is it really OK for you to leave Soowon like that?” Yona asked with a laugh. She totally knew he was pissed off and why. 

“He’d keep rambling away even if I told him we were leaving him,” Hak rolled his eyes. 

“Alright, grumpy pants,” Yona shook her head. “What a surprise, the entire house is white.”

“You really don’t have to point that out,” Hak said waspishly. 

“How could I resist when you’re so royally pissed off that you left Soowon without a word?” Yona laughed. Hak wanted to leave Yona too, but then his gramps would never let him live it down. His eyes scanned the hall, looking for any vibrant color that wasn’t white. He spotted a few red articles and one yellow, but that was it. At this point Yona and him probably stood out like fancy walking targets. His eyes skimmed over a brown vase stand and then the ugly white wall  _ and _ then it caught his eyes.

White hair. It was bright and vibrant and real and it stood out like it was the only thing in the corridor. White hair and pale white skin. Hak’s breath hitched in his throat. This wasn’t the white he knew.

“Hey, you there!” Hak shouted, before he could stop himself. Yona let out a noise of surprise. The boy turned around and Hak felt like his entire world had come down around his ears. This boy was beautiful, this boy was flawless. He was like bright sunlight at noon, he was like fresh soft snow, he was the glow of the moon, the white of fresh crispy paper, the foam capping the waves on a beach, the color that made Hak’s incomplete world nearly perfect. Hak could only think one thing.

_ He literally lights up my world. _

“Hak?” Yona asked in confusion.

Then the boy stopped staring at him and started to panic and stammer and fidget in the most adorable way Hak had ever seen. But what stayed with Hak was that the boy’s eyes seemed to be fixed to him, as if he was feeling what Hak was feeling. Other people would say it was ridiculous, but for Hak, he knew he had met one of his soulmates. Hak had only been missing the color green. That’s what the doctors had said. But they were wrong. Hak had been missing light.

“Hak! Is he green?” Yona asked excitedly as she studied both their faces. 

“No...he’s not the color green,” Hak said, unable to tear his eyes from the other’s face. The boy seemed unable to meet his eyes, but he focused on only Hak, not even looking at Yona, who was rather stunning to look at. “He’s...white…”

“White?” Yona blinked at him. 

“Who are you?” Hak demanded, rather rudely.

“A-ah, I’m sorry...um...welcome to the Hakuryuu Residence...I’m Hakuryuu Kija,” Hak sucked in a sharp breath. One of his soulmates so happened to be the young Hakuryuu heir. That was absolutely fabulous. Yona made a noise of realization and then Soowon appeared. Hak barely noticed Yona drag Soowon away, but he was grateful. Kija seemed like he wanted to both talk to Hak and run at the same time, so Hak moved for him and walked up to him.

“What color am I?” Hak asked Kija. He wanted to know what color Kija saw because of him. 

“You’re blue...you’re the color of night,” Kija breathed. “What c-color am I?”

“You’re white...no...to be exact...you’re the color of light,” He knew that didn’t explain much and he wanted to tell Kija more. He wanted to tell Kija of how he brought light to his world. He wanted to know Kija more and he wanted Kija to know him more. Hak held out his hand to Kija. “I didn’t know I was looking for you, but here you are. I’m Son Hak.”

“I’m Hakuryuu Kija,” Kija shakily took his hand, finally properly meeting Hak’s eyes. Hak was stunned. He was even more beautiful up close. The extreme desire to hold his face in his hands struck Hak and he had to force his hands to remain still. “I don’t suppose you plan on...um...just crossing paths and leaving it at that?” 

Of course not. He wasn’t going to let Kija slip through his fingers. If he had to, he’d use Yona to constantly get to Kija. If Kija thought he was going to run away, he was in for a surprise. Hak grinned.

“Oh no, I’m afraid you and I are going to become terribly close.”

Kija blushed even harder and Hak willed his hands to stay still. Regardless of the fact that they were soulmates, Hak couldn’t just grab the boy’s face. They had just met and even though he was one of the most attractive people Hak had ever met, Hak needed to control himself. 

“That’s good,” Kija squeaked. “Um...I can take you back to the main hall? Or we could catch up with your friends? I...uh...also think that we should tell our families that we’re soulmates?”

Yona’s family took it about as well as Hak expected them to. Yona’s father clapped his hands together and Yona and Soowon almost screamed as they threw themselves at Hak and Kija. Kija’s grandmother almost fainted but Kija’s father caught her as he smiled at them. Kija’s mother nearly pulled herself out of her wheelchair but Kija quickly rushed to her, still holding Hak’s hand. She had then proceeded to hug the both of them, saying she was glad they had decided to get to know each other.

In the world Kija and Hak lived in, keeping a secret like this wasn’t exactly very easy. Hak continued to visit Kija and they had finally gotten permission from Kija’s grandmother to take Kija out to join Hak, Yona and Soowon in their random escapades. It soon spread like a wildfire that Hakuryuu Kija and Son Hak were soulmates. The kids at school whispered around Hak, because it was a well known rumour that Hakuryuu Kija was missing two colors. Hak could honestly care less, he didn’t really care about what other people thought. He’d kick their asses if he needed to and Yona and Soowon were willing to kick ass even before he could. Hak’s family was thrilled to meet Kija and they nearly buried him when he came over to visit. Gramps had arranged an extravagant party and had spoiled Kija silly while telling Kija that Hak was an idiot and he should feel free to kill him if he wanted to.

Kija and Hak talked about how they couldn’t see the color green and they concluded that they both were waiting for the same person. Hak wasn’t sure whether Kija was interested in him romantically and that was his choice. Hak would accept whatever he chose, even if he was getting rid of his aversion for soulmates and was definitely interested in developing a romantic relationship. They also still had a third person to consider and they had no idea when they would meet them.

After Kija had gotten over his initial nervousness, Hak discovered he was fiery and could actually fight. He was trained in martial arts and Hak discovered he was horrifyingly amazing at throwing people over his shoulder. Getting into petty arguments was starting to become rather normal. But Hak could tell Kija enjoyed butting heads with him. They argued over all kinds of things and Yona and Soowon were usually the ones to break up their arguments. But then Hak and Kija would find themselves next to each other when they sat down to watch movies in Yona’s house all over again. It was like they were naturally drawn to each other. 

And every day, Hak fell harder.

The day Kija got into the university that was his first choice was the day Hak saw the color green for the first time in his life. 

* * *

Gigan asked him a lot if the reason why he dubbed himself ‘an appreciator of all things beautiful’ was because he saw the world as dark and cruel. He never really answered her because she was kind of right. It wasn’t that he expected the world to be mean and savage, but he supposed being locked up in his own room for a majority of his childhood did things to his head. It was like the world was pale and cold and nothing seemed to really fix that.

Jaeha loved his adoptive mother, he really did. He also loved and adored his foster siblings. And he had Zeno, Kaya and Lili who were bright bundles of life in his grey world. But somehow, the world still remained dark to him. There was also the whole soulmate crap. He didn’t mind it working for other people. Zeno and Kaya were a prime example of soulmates being beautifully in love. Lili pretended not to care, but he knew that she wanted to know desperately what the color yellow looked like. 

Jaeha had never taken the color test. Gigan had offered to take him to the doctor so he could take the test, but he didn’t really want to. He eventually learned he was missing the color blue because of Lili being nosy, but that was it. Jaeha didn’t care. He didn’t want a soulmate. He didn’t need one. He was aware several people never actually fell in love with their soulmates, but there were a majority who did. Jaeha only needed Gigan, Zeno, Kaya and Lili. If his soulmate wanted to be his friend, it was great. But if they were looking for a lover, Jaeha would clear out as fast as possible. Things like romantic love wouldn’t work with him. Not when everything in the world was dark to him.

Which was why he ran the moment he spotted  _ that _ particular dark haired male when he went to go check if he managed to make it into the university he had picked. It was a little annoying to be joining in the same year as kids two years younger than him, but that was the price he had to pay for his father locking him up at home. He had been looking for the bathroom when the color blue caught his eye. He had never seen the color before, so naturally he had stopped to gape. 

The color blue was beautiful. The boy in front of Jaeha was beautiful. He was the color of Lili’s eyes, the color of Gigan’s favorite hairpin, the color of Zeno and Kaya’s car, the color of Jaeha’s mother’s dress in the only photo he had of her. The boy in front of Jaeha was the color of home.

_ And it terrified Jaeha. _

So he ran as fast as he could. The boy chased him for quite a while and when Jaeha was sure he had lost him, he relaxed. He slowly came out of his hiding spot, turned around a corner and knocked straight into someone who was running.

“Ah! I’m so sorry! Are you OK?” The boy cried out.

“I’m fine,” Jaeha said, trying to wave it off even though his leg hurt. But there was no answer. Jaeha looked up and anything he was thinking of saying got stuck in his throat.

_ “I’ve always wondered, Jaeha, why the world looks so dark through your eyes.” _

Quiet clearly, it was because Jaeha had never met light incarnate before. He was staring down at him with wide light blue eyes. The light from behind him was like a halo that rained down on Jaeha. For the first time in Jaeha’s life, things didn’t look so dark anymore. Jaeha wondered how he had managed to both meet someone who personified ‘home’ and someone who personified ‘light’ in one day. Jaeha’s entire world became complete in the span of two hours. The darkness and emptiness he had known his entire life had been chased away. 

“Oh god, I’m so sorry!” The boy blurted again, shaking his head and pretending like the two of them just hadn’t stared into each other’s eyes for a whole minute. “Are you alright? Can you stand?” 

Jaeha wasn’t stupid. Basic color education was a must in this society. He knew exactly what was going on. The boy fretted over him and then started to effortlessly haul Jaeha up although he was smaller and lighter than Jaeha. 

“Did you know that you’re the fucking color of light?” Jaeha spat out before he could stop himself. The boy blinked at him and then smiled brightly.

“So I’ve been told,” he chuckled. 

“I can walk myself,” Jaeha grumbled.

“Yeah, but your left ankle is twisted. I’ll just get you to the nurses’ office.” The boy didn’t let go of him or even loosen his grip, which was ridiculously strong despite his small frame. Jaeha resigned himself to his fate and let himself be half carried. They walked in silence and then Jaeha found he couldn’t keep quiet anymore.

“What color am I?” Jaeha asked.

“The color of life,” the boy answered with no hesitation.

“Hah?” Jaeha asked in confusion.

“You’re green,” the boy said softly. “The color of life, the color of spring, the color of the sun against the ocean, a color I’ve never seen until now. I didn’t know it could be so beautiful…” the boy murmured. “Isn’t it interesting how I now can comprehend the color green in everything I’ve seen, whereas before I met you, my brain couldn’t process the color at all?”

“Yeah, sure,” Jaeha rolled his eyes. It was just green. They got to the nurse’s office after asking for directions and then the boy sat down and waited for the nurse to patch up Jaeha’s ankle while texting someone on his phone. Once the nurse was done, the boy looked up and Jaeha cursed at his luck. How did he land two absolutely drop dead gorgeous soulmates? It was like the world was trying to screw him over.

“Do you mind if I call Hak here? He’s still looking for you, it seems,” the boy said. “I won’t if you don’t want me to.”

“You two already know each other?” Jaeha asked.

“Yeah...we met...nearly a year back,” the boy explained. “I’m Hakuryuu Kija, by the way,” the boy beamed at him and Jaeha’s eyes widened. Of all the people Jaeha could become soulmates with, they just had to be the widely known Son Hak and Hakuryuu Kija. “Hak’s still in high school, but he came to check the results with me today,” Kija beamed. 

“Are you two lovers then?” Jaeha asked, already annoyed. Kija turned scarlet and Jaeha blinked.

“No, we’re not lovers,” Kija said firmly. “We’re just friends. I have no idea if he even wants to become lovers and I mean...he’s still in high school and he’s got his whole life ahead of him and he’s good looking and charming and popular and he could totally land someone better than me!”

“Not to burst your bubble,” Jaeha drawled. “But have you ever looked into a mirror? You’re just as good looking and I’m sure you’re plenty charming too. I’m the odd one out here.” Kija stopped blushing and pulled his hands away from his face to stare at Jaeha, then he smiled softly and it almost looked like a smirk.

“Oh? But I think you’re plenty good looking and charming,” Kija said. 

_ Yes, thank you universe for giving me an absolutely gorgeous soulmate I can’t refuse and makes my heart race. You really know what you’re doing, universe. _

“I know that,” Jaeha scoffed, looking away.

“So can I call him here?” Kija asked.

“Do what you want. I have no choice in the matter, it seems,” Jaeha shrugged.

“You know...we can just walk away if that’s what you want…” Kija said softly.

“Listen, I have no qualms with becoming friends,” Jaeha told Kija. “But if the two of you want this to become romantic in nature, I’m going to run so fast the both of you will never see me again.” 

“I understand,” Kija nodded. “We won’t do anything you don’t want. Trust us,” Kija said. 

And it amazed Jaeha how he did trust those words. 

* * *

Kija shot awake, gasping and covered in sweat. His back burned with a phantom pain he had long since forgotten. He struggled with breathing for a moment and then quietly and carefully rolled onto his side. He caught sight of Jaeha’s face next to him and tried to calm himself. They were all at Jaeha’s house. There was a big sleepover arranged for the day Jaeha’s friends and Hak and Kija’s friends to meet up. 

Things had been going well, Yona and Lili had become joined at the hip instantly, Gigan had showed off her weapon collection to Hak and then Soowon had come over and all hell broke loose. Soowon panicked - like downright tried to scramble up the door in fear - and Lili had erupted, throwing things and freaking out. Through the hysterics, they had discovered, Soowon was yellow to Lili and Lili was blue to Soowon. 

The plan had been to sleep together in the enormous living room, but that had to be cancelled and the girls occupied Jaeha’s room and the boys slept in the living room. Kija didn’t know what stroke of luck landed him in between Hak and Jaeha for the night, but whichever God arranged it, clearly wanted him to suffer. It had taken forever to fall asleep and now he had woken up from a nightmare he hadn’t had in years. 

Kija carefully climbed out of his sleeping bag and walked to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of water. He just turned to the table when he saw Hak standing there. Kija didn’t know what his face looked like, but the next moment Hak had wrapped him in a hug and was whispering soothing words into his ears while stroking his hair.

“I’m alright,” Kija managed to croak out. 

“Nonsense, you have tears all over your face,” Hak said, leading him to the table to sit down. Kija sat down and Hak sat next to him, rubbing his back with one hand comfortingly. “Do you want to talk about it?” Hak asked. Kija stared at Hak. There was so much Kija hadn’t told him and he wondered if it was OK to tell him everything.

“Hey, is everything OK here?” Jaeha’s voice was raspy and sleepy, but he stood in front of them looking wide awake. “Why is Kija crying?” Jaeha turned to Hak.

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out,” Hak said simply. 

“Is it...OK for me to be here?” Jaeha asked hesitantly. And that broke Kija out of anything he was thinking.

“It’s fine,” Kija said. “You can sit down...I just...had a nightmare of something that happened when I was a kid...and I’d like to tell the both of you about it.” Kija wanted Jaeha to feel welcome and accepted. Something told Kija that the other didn’t understand how close he could be with them without crossing lines he shouldn’t. The two in front of Kija were going to be apart of his life from now on, if Kija had any say in it. 

So Kija told them of the two missing colors in his life, of the mothers that whispered behind his back, of the children that treated him like a disease, of the boy that stole Kija’s things, hit him, destroyed his homework and pushed him onto the street and into the path of a car. Kija told them of the people who were removed from his side, of the people who treated him like he was some special case, of his grandmother who seemed to behave like somehow there was something wrong with him, of his father who loved him but still treated him like he was easily breakable and of his mother who told him of the world out there and the two people who would change his life. 

“That’s ridiculous,” Jaeha was the first one to spit out viciously. “If I were there I would have beaten everyone to a pulp. I don’t get what people were thinking, you’re perfect, Kija.”

“Jaeha’s right,” Hak nodded. “Tch, just thinking about it makes me so angry. I wonder if I’d be able to track down that kid that pushed you onto the street and-”

“Hold it right there, muscles for brains,” Kija smacked a hand against the front of Hak’s face. “You really don’t need to do that. That was ages ago.” Kija was smiling so widely, his face hurt. His eyes burned and his face was on fire. These two accepted him and told him that he was perfect. It was the most amazing thing that had ever happened to Kija.

“Not going to stop me,” Hak said haughtily. Kija gaped at him.

“Hak!” Kija hissed. Kija turned to Jaeha. “Do something to stop him.”

“Stop him?” Jaeha raised an eyebrow. “What makes you think I won’t join him?”

“You two are ridiculous,” Kija shook his head.

“Please, like you wouldn’t jump to try and murder anyone who has hurt us,” Hak said pointedly. Kija froze.

“You’re not wrong,” Kija frowned. Jaeha went eerily still and quiet. “Jaeha?” Kija asked softly.

“Alright,” Jaeha stood up. “I doubt any of us are going to get any sleep. So come with me,” Jaeha motioned for them to follow him. Kija glanced at Hak who shrugged and quickly hurried after Jaeha and dragged Kija with him. They left the house through the back door and Jaeha led them to the small Japanese styled building in the back that Gigan had told them she’d show them in the morning. 

It was a small training dojo. The floorboards were well polished, there were proper mats and dummies put properly in the corner. One of the walls was covered in real weapons and wooden versions of the weapons. On the left side it opened up to a small target range. The moonlight flooded the tiny dojo and gave it a serene feeling. Kija looked around in quiet awe. He had been to larger training dojos before. His own house had a professional one. But this had a distinctly ‘homey and used’ feeling to it.

“This was one of my favorite places growing up with Gigan,” Jaeha said, pulling the mats into the middle. “When I couldn’t sleep, I’d come here and practice kicking dummies and throwing knives. I get the feeling you both are the same kind of people as I am, so why don’t we go ahead and see how good we are up against each other?” Jaeha asked.

“Not to really discourage you or break any illusions, but I think you should know that Kija can throw me over his shoulder,” Hak informed Jaeha.

Jaeha stared at Kija for a minute before turning back to Hak, his breath leaving him in a loud squeak like sound.

“I had assumed he was pretty good, but it looks like I got more than I expected,” Jaeha said, sounding breathless. “Alright then, how about we do this?”

Kija grinned. 

* * *

Hak had fallen so hard for Kija, he wasn’t really sure what to do with himself at this point. It was pure willpower that made him study hard enough to get a perfect scholarship to get into Kija and Jaeha’s university. While the university had a very good martial arts program, it was an elite school that focused a lot more on academics. Hak could have gotten into a specialized martial arts school easily, but he decided to pick that university.

All because Kija plagued his dreams - even Jaeha too lately (but Hak wasn’t going to go there). Yona and Soowon were teasing him about it on end. Hak kind of wanted to bite back at Soowon since he had specifically gotten into the same university as An Lili even though he didn’t admit to it. Yeah, sure that university was in Soowon’s top three choices, but his first choice had accepted him but he rejected them with some crazy reason like he wasn’t given enough freedom with things there. Both Hak and Yona knew he was going to try and get to know An Lili. 

Hak would love to address the Jaeha issue in his head because clearly he was attracted to the other. But Jaeha had made it clear that he would not accept anything other than purely platonic friendship and both Hak and Kija valued Jaeha’s friendship. It was way too much fun landing at Jaeha and Gigan’s dojo to fight each other and then end up in a pile laughing and exhausted and Kija complaining about the two of them being too heavy. 

They had managed to have group friend outings without Lili trying to kill Soowon on sight and Hak and Kija had caught Jaeha muttering something about Lili overdoing things but they decided not to comment on it. Yona arranged for them to go camping near some lake and Hak enjoyed packing and planning with Jaeha and Kija. Perhaps they were different than just friends, but Hak wasn’t going to say a word. On the way there, Kija had fallen asleep with him head on Hak’s shoulder and Hak hadn’t moved for the rest of the trip. Yona had giggled at him.

Going into the lake though...that changed everything. Kija took off his shirt and then everyone paused and stared open mouthed. Hak had been struck dumb. Kija was like some kind of divine creature. He was beautiful, pale and almost flawless. Hak saw Kaya turn a wondrous shade of red. And on Kija’s back...there were three long scars across it that looked like claw marks almost. Hak would have thought they were claw marks if it weren’t for the fact that Kija had already told him and Jaeha that he had gotten those scars in an accident.

Lili dropped her bag, which was what snapped everyone’s attention and all of them hurriedly tore their eyes away from Kija. Zeno, Kaya and Soowon practically threw themselves into the lake leaving Kija to rifle through his bag for sunscreen. Before Hak could stop himself, his fingers were on Kija’s back, brushing ever so slightly against the scars.

“Wha-” Kija squeaked loudly and spun around to look at him. Kija face was scarlet and Hak forced his hands to his side. This was bad. This was bad. He wanted to touch Kija. He wanted to touch Kija, he wanted to wrap his arms around Kija, he wanted to kiss Kija breathless. “Hak?” Kija asked, still ridiculously red and a hand pressed against his back. “Um...did you-”

A green hoodie was draped over Kija the next moment. Jaeha patted Kija’s head.

“You might want to keep that on, Kija,” Jaeha said with a grin.

“Huh?” Kija blinked. Then his eyes widened. “Oh...is it my scar?”

“Nah, just you’re too pretty for everyone to handle,” Jaeha cackled and Hak envied his ability to be practically unmoved by Kija. “Anyways, keep the hoodie on and go have fun,” Jaeha pushed Kija towards the lake. Hak stood there frozen as Kija pulled the hoodie onto himself properly and then yelled at Lili to help him with swimming too. “You know,” Jaeha said slowly which broke Hak out of his little stupor. “If you’re going to make such dark looking faces when looking at Kija from now on, you’re better off confessing to him.” 

“Yeah, cause things are just that simple,” Hak rolled his eyes. The last time he had confessed to someone, he had been instantly rejected.

“I’m serious, you know. Kija’s going to notice there’s something wrong with you pretty soon and not to spill any secrets here, but you do know that Kija stares at you a lot, right?” Jaeha asked with a raised eyebrow. Hak stared helplessly at Jaeha. 

“Is it OK...if I tell Kija I like him?” Hak asked.

“I doubt he’d throw you away if you did. Just go for broke. It’ll turn out well,” Jaeha shrugged.

“No...I meant...is it OK with you if I tell Kija I like him?” Hak said.

“Why on earth would you ask-” Jaeha started with a laugh before his face turned serious. “Hey, I’ve told you before that I’m not looking for a romantic relationship.” 

“I know,” Hak said. “But it’s not like we’re not close either. We’re soulmates. I don’t want you to suddenly feel out of place because of some dumbass move I make.”

“Eh, I’ll be fine,” Jaeha said flippantly. “I’m used to stuff like that.”

Hak whacked Jaeha’s arm.

“Well, don’t get used to it. You’re important to me and Kija. The last thing we’d ever do to you is make you feel out of place.” Hak turned and marched towards the lake. It was annoying. Jaeha so naturally put his hoodie on Kija and not only did Hak not feel jealous, but he thought it looked at home on Kija. And Jaeha was so stupid, catching the way Hak looked at Kija but not realizing Hak had plenty difficulty trying to not to look at Jaeha because he was eye candy when he was shirtless too.

_ How annoying. _

* * *

Jaeha wanted. He wanted Hak and Kija. It wasn’t as simple as being sexually attracted to someone.  _ That _ was something Jaeha could handle. But he wanted Hak and Kija entirely. He wanted to be able to constantly text them without thinking if he was going to far. He wanted to be able to get into their space without thinking if he was crossing friendship boundary lines. He wanted to laugh and be close with them on another level that wasn’t possible as he was now. Spending time with them only made the need grow, but keeping away from them made him feel lonely and empty. And he had promised not to escape as long as they didn’t ask for a romantic relationship.

The lake incident was what kind of punched him in the stomach. Kija was one of the most beautiful people Jaeha had ever seen and Jaeha was frozen solid in utter awe. Hak touching Kija with that face was what did it for Jaeha. He wanted to be able to touch Kija like that. Jaeha was jealous. He was so jealous that Hak could actually touch Kija like that and he was jealous that Kija looked like it had surprised him, but also gave him hope. He wanted to be standing there with them on that level of intimacy that didn’t draw the line at ‘friends’, on that stage that offered something more. 

Jaeha moved before he realized he was moving and put his hoodie over Kija’s shoulders. If Kija had his shirt off for the rest of the day, it would murder everyone’s sanity. 

“You might want to keep that on, Kija,” Jaeha said with a grin, hoping he seemed normal.

“Huh?” Kija blinked. Then his eyes widened. “Oh...is it my scar?” Kija’s voice sounded regretful, chastised.

Why would he think that? Kija’s scars only added even more to his beauty! And that was why Hak hadn’t been able to do anything other than reach out and touch him. Heck! Jaeha wanted to touch his scars. Jahea and Hak would probably have to tell Kija that his scars were gorgeous sometime soon. Or maybe...just Hak would tell Kija.

“Nah, just you’re too pretty for everyone to handle,” Jaeha laughed, almost biting his tongue to keep from telling Kija how beautiful and imperfectly perfect he was. “Anyways, keep the hoodie on and go have fun,” Jaeha pushed Kija towards the lake and then turned towards Hak who was still standing still. “You know,” Jaeha said slowly, “If you’re going to make such dark looking faces when looking at Kija from now on, you’re better off confessing to him.” After all, Hak could confess to Kija while Jaeha couldn’t.

“Yeah, cause things are just that simple,” Hak rolled his eyes.

“I’m serious, you know. Kija’s going to notice there’s something wrong with you pretty soon and not to spill any secrets here, but you do know that Kija stares at you a lot, right?” Jaeha asked 

“Is it OK...if I tell Kija I like him?” Hak asked. What kind of question was that? Did Hak seriously think that Kija would run away if Hak told him he liked him? Kija liked Hak back and even if he didn’t want a relationship just yet, things would work out. Jaeha would make sure they’d work out.

“I doubt he’d throw you away if you did. Just go for broke. It’ll turn out well,” Jaeha shrugged, trying to sound uninterested.

“No...I meant...is it OK with you if I tell Kija I like him?” Hak said.

“Why on earth would you ask-” Jaeha started laughing light heartedly before the meaning of Hak’s words slammed into him and his stomach knotted uncomfortably. “Hey, I’ve told you before that I’m not looking for a romantic relationship.” No. That wasn’t true. Jaeha wanted. He wanted so badly.

“I know,” Hak said. “But it’s not like we’re not close either. We’re soulmates. I don’t want you to suddenly feel out of place because of some dumbass move I make.”

“Eh, I’ll be fine,” Jaeha said trying to distance himself, want burning inside of him. “I’m used to stuff like that.”

Hak whacked his arm.

“Well, don’t get used to it. You’re important to me and Kija. The last thing we’d ever do to you is make you feel out of place.” Hak turned and marched towards the lake. Jaeha clenched his fists. Jaeha knew he was important to them. He knew they would do anything for him. He trusted them so much now. If they were the ones to break him, Jaeha didn’t mind. Being with them was everything Jaeha could ever hope for. And Jaeha wanted.

He wanted to love them and be loved by them.

Kija ended up getting a fever after they came back from their trip. Jaeha had told both Hak and Kija multiple times that they’d get sick if they swam in the lake at night and didn’t have the hot bath to take advantage of straight afterwards. Both Hak and Kija said they’d be fine if they just took hot showers after. Apparently it wasn’t enough. Not that that meant that Jaeha hadn’t joined them in their stupid night swimming escapades. 

Jaeha and Hak decided to stay at Kija’s house until Kija got better, feeling partly responsible. Kija wasn’t exactly used to going outside and doing crazy things. Jaeha had been over to Kija’s place a couple of times and he had met Kija’s parents and his grandmother. Jaeha could tell that Kija’s grandmother had her reservations, but she seemed content if Kija was happy. She treated both Jaeha and Hak well as well.

The food at Kija’s house was extravagant and Jaeha had never really eaten such food aside from at Lili’s house. Jaeha and Hak were given rooms nearby Kija’s room and Kija’s mother had entertained them in Hak’s room until late at night with photo albums of Kija. Kija’s mother was just as wonderful as Kija had said she was and Jaeha was happy for him. It made Jaeha think of his father for the first time in a long time and he wondered what he was doing and how he was. He supposed Hak and Kija were changing him.

“Aren’t you scared?” Jaeha asked, before he could stop himself. Hak paused while trying to wrestle with his bag. Jaeha was still sitting on Hak’s bed.

“Scared of what?” Hak asked. Jaeha sighed. He might as well go ahead with it. What did he have to lose? Hak and Kija had made it pretty clear that regardless of what happened, if Jaeha didn’t want them gone, they weren’t going to go anywhere.

“Being rejected by Kija when you confess to him, going through major change in your life,” Jaeha said. Hak turned to look at him, looking thoughtful.

“Of course I am,” Hak said. “But I have to keep moving no matter what.”

Jaeha smiled to himself. What a Hak like answer. He really was just that strong. 

“You see, I’ve fallen in love with a total of two people in my life before I met Kija and you,” Hak said, sitting down on the chair. “At one point I was madly in love with Yona and at one point I was madly in love with Soowon. I didn’t care at all for my soulmate bonds. And personally, I think that’s OK. I confessed to Soowon, but I never confessed to Yona. Soowon told me that he didn’t feel the same and he told me he often feels like he doesn’t have romantic feelings for anyone at all. He wasn’t sure whether he would ever feel romantic feelings for someone. He said that he might feel that way for his soulmate. Maybe that one person was his soulmate because they’d be able to make him fall in love. Soowon said if that person didn’t make him fall in love, he’d walk away. Because soulmates that become friends become really close and he didn’t want to replace me or Yona because we were the most important to him. I think I hated soulmates at one point because of this. I thought it was stupid. But I also realized Soowon and Yona had put a large amount of thought into their soulmates and all the possibilities. I guess I was afraid of my soulmate and falling in love until I met Kija.” 

Hak started to smile widely.

“Oh yeah, Kija was absolutely beautiful and attractive. You must have felt it too when you first met Kija. It’s like meeting a God or Goddess or something. For a while nothing else really matters.” Hak chuckled and Jaeha understood him completely. It was almost too easy to run away from Hak, but it had been hard to fight Kija at all. “But I don’t think that was what made me realize it was OK to fall in love with Kija. Kija hadn’t been outside in years. His mother told me that Kija was more alone than he believed himself to be. I thought about how Kija hadn’t had the chance to meet people, to fall in love, to have his heart broken, to do stupid things that we all have done. And I thought, is this really the haughty soulmate that was going to control my life supposed to be like? All my worries and internal drama started to seem insignificant. I thought about Yona and Soowon and how they had thought seriously about their soulmates even though they hadn’t met them yet and I decided to face Kija. And I thought, at the very least, I have to get him out of here. So I dragged him out and learned more and more about him and...he was everything. Kija, who had been treated like someone unusual and different his entire life, accepted me no matter what my flaws were. That’s why I decided it was OK to fall in love with Kija even though I was terrified that since he had never been outside he would fall in love with someone else or reject me because he didn’t want to fall in love yet. Because I know that Kija will accept me no matter what.”

Jaeha stared at him. Why he had he ever thought that Hak was naturally strong?

“Does that answer your question?” Hak asked. Jaeha wanted to walk into Hak and Kija’s open and welcoming arms and never turn back.

“I’m going to think about it for a while,” Jaeha murmured. He jumped off of Hak’s bed and headed to the door. “Goodnight, Hak,” Jaeha said and then slipped out and to the room that had been given to him.

* * *

“Ugh, thank you for staying with me even though I got sick like an idiot,” Kija grumbled as he sat up in bed. Jaeha and Hak grinned at him.

“Nonsense, it’s our job to make sure you can do all the stupid things you’ve never done before,” Jaeha waved his hand at Kija.

“Like you didn’t join in doing that stupid thing with no hesitation,” Hak said pointedly.

“Alright, alright. No need to shove it in my face,” Jaeha frowned. Kija stared at them. Somehow the atmosphere between the two of them seemed to have changed. They seemed closer. Kija kind of wanted to ask them about it, but he wondered if he’d sound weird. Kija’s stomach twisted uncomfortably. He couldn’t believe they had just stayed two whole days over to take care of him and he was getting jealous!

“Did everyone treat you guys well?” Kija asked with a smile, trying to shove the weird feelings inside of him down.

“Oh yeah! That!” Jaeha clapped his hands together as if he had just remembered something. “You were such a cute little kid! Especially that time when you forgot that you had to-” 

“Mom!” Kija shrieked and then grabbed at Jaeha and Hak’s collars. “Both of you, forget everything now!” Hak was snickering and Jaeha was downright laughing.

“No can do, Kija dear,” Hak snickered.

“Alright, both of you are kicked out of this house!” Kija snapped.

“But, Kija dear, you’re in bed. You can’t kick us out. And your mom specifically said we have to stay for dinner.” Jaeha flapped his hand at Kija. 

“Oh my god,” Kija fell back onto his bed and covered his face with both his hands.

“Hey, if it makes you feel better, Hak’s gramps is inviting us over and we can wheedle embarrassing stories out of his family,” Jaeha said.

“Good idea!” Kija sat up.

“Not if I kill them all first!” Hak shot up.

“You’re not going anywhere!” Jaeha and Kija latched onto Hak instantly.

And just like that, the distance Kija had felt was gone. He was grateful for it. 

His father was reluctant about letting him spend the night at Hak’s place right after he had gotten better, but it was the weekend, the only time they could manage it and Kija insisted. Hak’s family was rowdy as usual, but whenever they tried to get Kija to dance with them or something Jaeha would intercept them and say he’d be better at whatever it was. They managed to get plenty of embarrassing stories out of Mundeok and Taeyeon. 

Jaeha was still dancing and flirting with a couple of people when Hak told Kija that he should get away from the party. They sat on the balcony outside Hak’s room and Kija leaned against the fence in contentment.

“I’m glad I met both you and Jaeha,” Kija smiled.

“I feel the same way,” Hak said, looking at Kija. Kija stared back at him, feeling like something had shifted. “I don’t think I’ve stressed it enough, but you brought light to my hopeless world. Both literally and figuratively. It means a lot to me.” 

Kija’s heart thumped against his ribcage and Kija wanted to reach forward and hold Hak’s face in his hands and tell him of the warmth in his heart and tell him of the two most beautiful colors on his canvas. Kija grabbed Hak’s hand and clenched his other hand.

“Hak, I-”

“You both abandoned me,” Jaeha slid open the door of the balcony and came out. “Terribly rude if you ask me.” Jaeha’s eyes caught Kija’s hand on Hak’s and seemed to sense the atmosphere. “Oh...am I-”

“No!” Kija blurted. “No, it’s fine. We want you here.”

Jaeha stared at them, seeing hesitant for a moment. His eyes flew to Hak’s face.

“What he says,” Hak nodded.

“Ah, damn it!” Jaeha growled loudly and then plopped onto the floor. “Nothing for it then, I guess.” He scooched closer, until all of their knees were touching. “When I was six, my father went crazy. I don’t know exactly why, but he did.” 

Kija blinked. 

What a serious topic! And so suddenly with no warning. Hak gently squeezed Kija’s hand and Kija squeezed back. Regardless, Jaeha was sharing something important. 

“For six years I was locked inside my own room, feet tied to my bed so I couldn’t run. It wasn’t like he was particularly violent or cruel. He brought me food and new clothes and sometimes made my hair. But that was it. I would hear him screaming hysterically in the other rooms and sometimes he would scream in my room and throw things around. It was pretty scary. But he was also pitiful, you could say. I didn’t love him, but I pitied him. We had new neighbors when I turned twelve and they found my father screaming very strange and contacted the police which eventually led to me being saved and I ended up staying with Gigan. To me, the world looked dark and I had no home. Gigan and everyone were precious to me, but I guess I was the one that distanced myself. I lived my life that way and then I met you both. You know it’s so funny that when I saw the both of you, what was missing in my world was completed. Hak was the color of home and Kija...you brought light to my world.” 

Kija’s eyes stung as tears filled his eyes. He had been told he brought light to someone’s world twice in the same hour. Kija loved Hak and Jaeha. He loved them so much. 

“I...tried not to get too close to people because it hurt. I expected betrayal like my father betrayed me. I expected abandonment like my father abandoned me. Very few have actually managed to actually climb over my walls. Gigan being one and then Lili and then Zeno and Kaya. And now you two idiots. I...am probably in love with the both of you and if we’re going to turn this romantic then I’m not going to run away.”

Kija was about to lunge at Jaeha to hug him and tell him he loved him too, when Hak pinned Kija’s hand down with a vice grip.

“Then I have something to say too,” Hak said firmly. “I fell into two hopeless loves before I met the two of you and meeting the two of you changed my view on soulmates and romance. I can’t say things as fancily as most people, but the both of you give me warmth. I love the both of you too.” Kija was pretty sure he was crying a river at this point. 

“I...the two of you…” Kija cried. “You both gave me a life...you both gave me freedom...and you both…” Kija’s breath heaved in his chest. “You both gave me love and acceptance and I don’t think I could fall in love with anyone but the two of you…”

Jaeha reached for Kija first, pulling him close and kissing his nose and hands wiping away the tears on Kija’s face. Kija’s hands found Jaeha’s face and discovered he was crying too. Hak came close kissed the side of Kija’s head and then intertwined hands with Jaeha before leaning close to press his mouth lightly against Jaeha’s. The moment Hak pulled away, Kija surged forwards and kissed Jaeha. Hak’s fingers carded through Kija’s hair and he kissed Kija’s ear. 

Kija didn’t know how long they sat on the balcony, exchanging kisses and crying and laughing, but Kija had never felt like he belonged somewhere so much in his entire life. 

And later, instead of sleeping on the futons spread on the floor, they piled onto Hak’s bed and clutched each other and fell asleep, exhausted.

In the morning Ayame teased them saying that she had left the house to get ice cream and saw them all over each other on the balcony. Hak snapped at her about keeping things to herself while Kija burned in embarrassment and Jaeha laughed wildly while clinging to Hak and not so subtly kissing his neck just to make half the table scream “PDA!”

Jaeha and Hak agreed to drop Kija off at home and tell his parents and grandmother that they were officially in a relationship. They wanted to tell Gigan too, but she was out of the country. Kija stood there, beaming widely as Hak and Jaeha held his hands and told his parents. They had refused to let go of him and Kija’s face hurt from smiling so much. He hadn’t known he could be so happy. Kija’s parents were delighted. His grandmother had a somewhat subdued reaction, but she hugged all three of them and kissed their foreheads while telling them she hoped she’d live long enough to see the three of them married.

Hak and Jaeha kissed Kija when they left, promising that they’d group call when they got home.

“I love both of you,” Kija said urgently as they stepped out the door. The two of them turned to look at Kija and then each other and smiled. 

“We love you too,” they said in sync.

* * *

Trouble hit in winter. 

Not trouble between the three of them, Hak was glad. But it was trouble in the form of Soowon and Lili. Soowon had tried to become as close to Lili as possible in order to discover if he could fall in love with her, and while they had developed a bickering and competitive friendship, Soowon said he didn’t think he was in love. And like he had planned to, he drew away. He stopped coming to gatherings and he started to avoid Lili at college even though he had persistently followed her before. Yona tried to talk to Soowon to try and explain sometimes love was in different forms, but he was stubborn. Hak wasn’t sure what he would tell Soowon who had seemed almost jealous of Hak’s relationship status at one point. Which was crazy. At first Lili hadn’t really noticed it, brushing it off as Soowon being busy but at one gathering when Yona and Hak were fighting over barbecue Lili approached them.

“Um...is Soowon not coming?” She asked. She looked nervous and knowing her from how much she talked to Yona and because of Jaeha, Hak could tell it had probably taken a lot of courage to ask that question. Yona glanced at Hak in panic. It wasn’t like they could just downright tell her that Soowon was trying to cut ties with her. Hak sighed and rubbed the back of his head.

“He’s not coming…” Hak said gently. “I don’t know if he’ll come anymore...but I’ll talk to him to see if he’ll explain himself to everyone.” Lili looked blank and then her eyes widened.

“Oh...of course,” she murmured and then walked away. 

Lili didn’t stay the night at Kija’s place like everyone else was. 

“Hak, can we talk?” Jaeha asked as he sat down next to Kija on Kija’s bed. “About Soowon and Lili.”

“I thought this would come up,” Hak groaned.

“I’m worried too,” Kija said. “Lili seemed really down. What’s going on?”

“Soowon is being stupid, that’s what’s going on,” Hak muttered. “Soowon has this stupid policy that if he doesn’t fall in love with his soulmate he’ll walk away and not turn back because he refuses to have closer friends than me and Yona. So he persistently pressed at trying to become close with Lili and when he was convinced he couldn’t fall in love with her, he walked away. I know that’s his own choice and I respect that if that’s what he wants...but I don’t think he’s not attached to her in some way...and he can’t force love. Yona tried to talk with him, but he’s stubborn about things like that.” Hak sighed. “I’m going to try and talk to him as well.”

“They were getting along so well, too…” Kija pouted. 

“I mean...I can’t stop him, but isn’t that too selfish?” Jaeha asked angrily. “He was the one who nosed his way into Lili’s space and he leaves without an explanation?”

“Yeah,” Hak sighed. “I’m sorry, he’s a dumbass. That’s why I’m going to try and get him to talk to Lili.”

“I’m not mad at you, so don’t apologize for him,” Jaeha ran a hand through his hair. “Soowon likes making things complicated all on his own, huh?”

“That’s him,” Hak shrugged. 

“He’s a lot like Lili in that sense. Why are the most honest people the ones that complicate things the most?” Jaeha groaned and flopped backwards on the bed. “I don’t want to say much...but I think Lili doesn’t realize yet how much Soowon means to her.”

“I’d say the same about Soowon. I don’t think he realizes he’s attached to her. Damn it! He’s an idiot!” Hak quickly joined Kija and Jaeha on the bed and brought even Kija down as he put his arms on them and fell face forward into the blankets. 

“So you’ll talk to him?” Kija asked, turning so that he could look at Jaeha and Hak. 

“Yeah...I’ll talk to him. Could you guys... I don’t know...hide outside the house while I talk to him? If you hear me murdering him, come in and stop me. He can be a pain to deal with.” Hak nuzzled into Jaeha’s open hair.

“You’re a pain to deal with too, you know,” Jaeha laughed. “But yeah, we’ll do that.”

“Thank you,” Hak said and the three of them found the right position to cuddle up in and then fell asleep.

Hak invited Soowon over to his house to talk to him. They sat in Hak’s room, piecing together some massive model plane Soowon had bought. They hadn’t done this years, which said a lot about Soowon’s mental state. Hak hadn’t seen Soowon so out of it in a long time. Yeah, he was a spacey kind of guy, but he usually had himself put together pretty well. 

“Lili was asking where you were,” Hak said simply. Soowon froze.

“Hak-” Soowon started with an exasperated sigh and Hak felt something inside of him snap.

“No, you listen to me,” Hak said. “I don’t know what goes on in that complicated head of yours but isn’t leaving Lili just like that really rude? You didn’t even explain things to her. And how dare you look down on love in general. For all your smarts, you’re really dumb when it comes to your own feelings. You don’t control love and you can’t say that what you feel for her isn’t love. So shut up and go explain things to Lili. She didn’t even stay the night last night because I told her that you weren’t coming. Do you have any idea how bad everyone felt for he-”

“There you go again!” Soowon hissed. “You’re just upset because Jaeha and Kija are upset. Does it really matter to you? You’re all about your soulmates these days. Does anything else matter to you?” Soowon glared. Hak gaped at him.

“You...how long have you been feeling like this?” Hak asked.

“I’m surprised you noticed Lili at all with you, Jaeha and Kija all over each other and-” Soowon just continued sounding downright vicious. Hak grabbed his pillow and threw it as hard as he could at Soowon’s face.

“Shut up,” Hak snarled. “Lili is my friend too. Stop treating her like some kind of attachment that I can easily throw off. You know you’re talking nonsense so use your brain and speak. And never talk about Jaeha and Kija like that again. What is _ wrong with you _ ?” Soowon bit hit lip.

“I’m just tired of ‘soulmate this’, ‘soulmate that’ crap,” Soowon looked away, crossing his arms. “It’s pissing me off when that’s everything anyone is concerned with,”

Hak stared at Soowon. Very few of them actually talked about their soulmates. Yona hadn’t even found hers yet and she was perfectly fine with not mentioning it. Hak tried to wrack his brain to try and find out when Soowon had started acting strange. He didn’t seem to have any problems even after they met Lili. So what exactly was-

_ “You’re all about your soulmates these days. Does anything else matter to you?” _

“Soowon...correct me if I’m wrong...but are you scared of your world expanding and changing and are you...jealous of me and Yona expanding our worlds?” Hak asked. Soowon looked like Hak had just stepped all over his precious garden. 

Hak had hit the nail on the head. 

Hak was stunned speechless. That was crazy! Soowon had always been a friendly person, he moved the people around him, he made new friends easily. He was a flaky kind of guy, but he always attracted people wherever he went. Even if his friendships with others other than Yona and Hak were kind of distant and...oh... _ oh _ .

“Lili is dark blue...nearly the same color I would use to describe you, Hak.” Soowon said quietly, drawing his knees up to hug them to himself. “For me, she’s not a fancy color like the night that Kija describes you as, she’s not home like Jaeha describes you as. For me, Lili is depth. I don’t know if this makes sense, but I...when it comes to anything that isn’t my family, you and Yona and the things I always wanted to do, I’m a horribly shallow person, Hak. I thought, it would be fine if I just walked through life the way I always was. But Lili is solid and deep. She doesn’t sway the way others do before me. She’s real. She’s the first person to notice how fake I was and say it to my face. I thought, if I were to meet my soulmate, things would be easy and would work out and that would be the end of that. But it’s not that way. Getting to know Lili is forcing me to become a deeper person. I have to get along with the entire group, I have to keep guessing how she feels because she’s such a complex person. It’s not easy, it doesn’t just flow and she’s ripping my entire world apart just by being there. I don’t want that.” Soowon curled in on himself. “But, you and Yona are changing and now your worlds don’t just revolve around the three of us. I can’t run away from Lili now, even if I want to. And part of me doesn’t want to run away because being around Lili is fun.”

Suddenly Hak’s always confident and always sure friend seemed very small and insecure. Hak had always known that Soowon kept a certain amount of distance between himself and others, but Hak had always assumed that Soowon knew what he was doing and he explicitly wanted that. Hak wondered if Yona knew that Soowon felt like this.

“You’re a weird guy,” Hak sighed fondly. Soowon made a noise of displeasure. “Everyone is scared of change. Even I am...but I guess of all people, you’re the one person that isn’t used to having things go your way.” Hak picked up a piece of the plane model and fiddled with it for a bit. “You have to move forward. That’s the only thing you can do. And Lili may be the one person that will make it easier to move forward and maybe she’ll help you. You should be honest about it and tell her you’re sorry. I’ll support you and hey, you can even ask Jaeha for help! He’s her best friend. Oh...and you have to apologize to Yona. She’s been really worried about you and has been beating herself up for not being able to help you.”

“Alright,” Soowon mumbled. 

Hak got up and opened his balcony door.

“You guys can come in now!” he called. Soowon started and in a minute, Jaeha and Kija entered the house.

“Hak, what?” Soowon turned to glare accusingly at him.

“They were here to stop me if i tried to kill you,” Hak nodded sagely. 

“Is everything solved?” Kija asked curiously.

“You owe the both of them an apology,” Hak said pointedly. 

Soowon hesitantly apologized for trying to cut ties and apologized for bad mouthing them just a couple of minutes ago. 

“Jaeha, Soowon wants to apologize to Lili and explain things to her, so can we arrange things?” Hak asked. Jaeha turned to grin at him.

“I’ll try, but we all know Lili is mercurial,” Jaeha shrugged.

“Well, we’ll try and that’s the important part. I’m sure Soowon can be pretty persistent!” Kija said trying to erase the gloom that just covered Soowon. 

“Yup, when he puts his mind to something, he’s really annoying,” Hak grinned.

* * *

“Hi, Lili,” Soowon said as Jaeha, Kija and Hak hid in the kitchen to see how things went. Lili was standing frozen and staring at Soowon like she’d seen a ghost. Jaeha crossed his fingers and prayed. Whatever she said next determined everything.

“What are you doing here?” she asked. Jaeha grimaced. 

That was a bad sign. 

“I came to apologize and expla-” Soowon started shakily and then Lili threw her water bottle at his face. Jaeha grabbed Hak and Kija before they could rush out of the kitchen and try to solve things only to make things worse and probably get things thrown at them as well. Of course, Lili didn’t end with a water bottle. She threw her entire bag at his face and then ran out of the house screaming something about ‘little traitors’.

Soowon turned to look at them, tears in his eyes from the pain in his face.

“I hate to break it to you, but you kind of deserved that…” Jaeha said.

“What did she mean by ‘little traitors’?” Kija asked, picking up Lili’s water bottle and bag.

“Um...probably the movie I invited her to but then didn’t show up to?” Soowon said quietly. All of them turned to stare at Soowon.

“OK, I’m calling it. You totally deserved getting whacked in the face,” Hak said firmly. 

“I know,” Soowon said. 

Kija as always, tried to ease the tension.

“It’s alright, this was only our first try. I thought we all agreed that it would take a couple of tried to get Lili to listen,” Kija put his hand comfortingly on Soowon’s shoulder. Soowon turned his tear filled eyes towards Kija. 

“Kija!” Soowon cried. Hak smacked Soowon’s face, knocking him away. 

“Yes, yes, now go reflect,” Hak said sternly. “Also, I’m telling Yona about this,”

“No!” Soowon wailed in distress. 

Jaeha shook his head. This was so dumb, but at least things were moving forward. The fact that Soowon was trying really was what was important. Hak had talked to the Jaeha and Kija and had told them that he couldn’t tell them everything because it was something meant only to be heard by Lili, but Soowon was trying and he wasn’t going to run away again unless Lili seriously wanted him to leave. Jaeha respected that. Soowon was human too and his fears hit a little too close to how Jaeha’s fears had shaped during his life.

“Jaeha, what was he doing at your house?” Lili asked him stirring her coffee violently.

“You heard him, he went there to apologize and explain,” Jaeha said gently. Lili grumbled to herself.

“So you were there too, huh?” Lili muttered. 

“Lili...at least listen to him?” Jaeha asked. “We all have our own fears and reasons for things and he’s come back to try and that’s a good thing.”

“Well, I’m not in love with him anymore, so that’s that,” Lili growled. Jaeha’s eyebrows raised in surprise. He had never heard her say that outloud and as far as he was concerned, she was nowhere close to being over Soowon.

“Oh? You were in love with Soowon? This is news to me,” Jaeha commented. She threw the coffee in his face and left with a shouted:

“I hate you too!”

She called later to apologize for overdoing it. Because Lili was impulsive, but she knew when she took things too far. And she told him that she’d listen to Soowon next time. 

Soowon apologized and explained things. Lili called him ‘stupid’ but didn’t walk away. Things were at peace again. They weren’t dating yet, but they seemed to be trying to lay down a stable relationship in place of the one Soowon destroyed by accident. 

Jaeha asked Lili later that what their colors were.

“He says I’m the color of depth,” Lili shrugged. 

“And him?” Jaeha asked teasingly. Lili flushed.

“He’s the color of consistency,” Lili muttered. 

Jaeha was happy for her and Soowon. 

They all went out to eat at a new restaurant in celebration and Lili and Soowon ended up sitting in between Hak and Yona. Lili was being picky about her food and pushing things onto Soowon’s plate and Jaeha rolled his eyes because he knew that she usually ate the stuff she didn’t like, because she had learned not to waste her food. Soowon was simply letting her push things onto his plate and smiling and calling her a ‘picky eater’ and laughing lightly as he ate the stuff she ‘hated’.

Knowing Lili, she was probably going to continue doing things like this for a while to see how much Soowon indulged her and when he would start telling her that eating everything on her plate was healthy.

Hak caught Jaeha’s eyes and smiled. Kija grabbed Jaeha’s hand and squeezed, smiling as well.

“Oooohh!” Yona exclaimed as she dug into her dessert. 

“What is it?” Hak asked.

“Excuse me!” Yona waved the waiter over instead of answering him. “Can I please meet the person who made this?”

“I will ask if that’s possible,” the waiter said and then stepped away.

“What are you doing?” Soowon asked her.

“This tastes really good! I have to commend whoever made this! I’ve eaten this before at other restaurants, but it’s the first time I’ve thought it tastes so good!”

Two minutes later, Jaeha saw the kitchen door open and a boy dressed in white and holding a tray of dessert stepped out. Jaeha was about to tell Yona her chef was here and bearing more dessert when the boy spoke up himself.

“Uh, I’m sorry for the mistake we made. I forgot to put in the hazelnu-” The boy started. Yona’s eyes met the boy’s and she dropped her spoon with a clang and the boy dropped the tray of dessert and it crashed violently. Jaeha glanced back and forth at the boy and Yona.

“Oh boy,” Zeno whispered.

* * *

A couple of nerve wracking seconds went by and Kija clutched his napkin ready for anything to happen. After all, they could just walk away or start throwing things and screaming the way Lili and Soowon had. Kija thought Soowon was about to try and ease the tension when a waiter who noticed the disaster rushed forward.

“Yoon, are you OK?” The waiter cried out. The boy snapped out of his trance and then a look of utter horror crossed over his face.

“Ah! I’m so sorry!” he cried and then rushed to clean up the disaster. Yona moved out of her chair so fast, Kija almost didn’t see her move. She dashed towards the boy and started to help too. At this point, Hak and Soowon had gotten to their feet and started to move forward, but Lili and Jaeha grabbed them and stopped them. “Oh, no! You don’t need to help! Really! It was my mistake!” the boy blushed a bright red.

“I’m partly responsible too!” Yona said firmly.

“Uh...but you’re the customer and-” the boy stammered.

“Nonsense!” Yona said kindly. Once the waiter had taken the tray with the disaster the boy stood up and bowed, his face still red.

“I’m so sorry for this! Not only did I forget to add something to your dessert, I dropped and ruined the replacement!” the boy cried out.

“But I didn’t call you to fix the dessert,” Yona said. The boy looked up at her in surprise. 

“You didn’t?” he asked.

“I wanted to tell you the dessert tasted really good and I’d definitely come back for it…” Yona said. The boy stared at her and then flushed even more. “Also, uh, can we talk after your shift? When does it end?” Yona asked. 

“Three thirty,” the boy answered blankly.

“Alright! I’ll wait for you!” Yona smiled brightly and the boy became even more flustered.

“I’ll, uhm...go back t-to the kitchen!” he bowed again and then fled. Yona stood there for a second and then turned and slowly walked back to her seat and then sank into it with a sigh.

“Oh my gosh! That was so nerve wracking!” Yona wailed.

“I think you handled that pretty well!” Kija piped up.

“I think so too!” Kaya raised her hand. 

“What color is he?” Lili asked eagerly.

“Um...I’ll tell you guys later?” Yona said, fiddling with a lock of hair by her ear. “You guys can head home, I want to talk to him alone.”

They respected that decision and headed home after telling her to keep in touch. Kija, Jaeha and Hak walked back to Jaeha’s house which was the closest. Kija had called his mother to tell her he’d head to classes from Jaeha’s house and he was very sure he had heard his father freaking out about him losing his innocence in the background which made him feel like dying off embarrassment. Kija had definitely thought of moving further with their relationship, but he wasn’t going to do anything until the other two wanted to. And he was pretty content with the kisses and hugs and fleet touches the three of them shared. 

Kija had only just changed into the extra clothes Jaeha had given him when he heard a crash from the kitchen. Surprised, he ran out and saw that Jaeha was struggling with a box of leftovers.

“Do you need help with that?” Kija laughed. 

“I’m trying to make dinner, Kija. I don’t think you can cook to save your life,” Jaeha said.

“That is not true!” Kija gasped. “I’ve been learning a couple of things at home!”

“That so?” Jaeha raised an eyebrow. “Well, I guess you can come over here and help a little.”

They were in the middle of dinner when Yona messaged them all in the group that ‘Yoon’ had agreed to continue meeting her and meet all of them and that he was the color of bluebirds and reliability and that his adoptive father was the priest of the largest shrine in town. 

The three of them had just finished up cleaning up after dinner and then Kija turned to look at Jaeha. Jaeha’s hair was open and brushed over one shoulder, the strands tickling his neck. Kija swallowed. Yeah, he was definitely attracted to both Hak and Jaeha, but thanks to his dad screeching about him losing his innocence, Kija wasn’t sure he could sleep peacefully that night. Especially since they would sleep curled up together on Jaeha’s small bed. 

“Jaeha?” Kija murmured before he could stop himself. Jaeha turned, eyes instantly locking on Kija’s. “Ah…” Kija tried to think of something to say, but Jaeha’s eyes widened and he walked over to Kija and then cupped Kija’s face.

“You looking at me like that should be illegal,” Jaeha whispered. Kija’s eyes widened and he instinctively nuzzled into Jaeha’s touch. An odd look passed over Jaeha’s face and then he was kissing Kija, deep and passionate. Kija’s mind buzzed pleasantly and he kissed back just as fiercely. His hands climbed up to the back of Jaeha’s head, burying fingers in his silken hair and leaning into him. 

“Oh my,” Hak’s voice sounded terribly amused, but there was also something dark swimming in his voice. Jaeha broke away for much needed air. Hak was standing in the kitchen doorway, staring at them, want written all over his face. “Horribly rude of you two to leave me out,” Hak said. 

“Hak,” Kija near whined and it shocked him how broken his voice sounded. 

Hak crossed over to them, a hand going to Jaeha’s waist and pressing a long kiss to Jaeha’s exposed nape and Kija’s fingers that were planted there, while the other hand went to Kija’s face, caressing his cheek. Kija felt hot and loved and he wanted.

“Come here,” Hak said to Kija, quickly pulling him forward and practically picking Kija off the floor as he kissed him. Somehow in between kisses and searing touches they ended up on Jaeha’s bed, both Jaeha and Kija on Hak’s lap - that part was a little infuriating, regardless of how muddled Kija’s head was.

“Wait, wait,” Jaeha pulled away from Hak and Kija stopped kissing up Jaeha’s neck and ear. “Are we really going to do this?” Jaeha asked. “We don’t have everything we need and we haven’t talked about it either,”

Kija blinked as he tried to quickly collect his thoughts and Hak was quiet.

“We...we don’t have to go the whole way,” Kija said, his face flaming. “I uh...want to go the whole way with the both of you one day. I really do...but um...today, I think it’s OK to just touch each other?” Hak leaned forward with what sounded like a sigh of relief and bumped his forehead against Jaeha’s.

“Yeah, what Kija said,”

“You sure say that a lot,” Jaeha chuckled. “Yeah, I’m OK with that too,” Jaeha took a deep breath. “And since Kija is the prettiest here, I’m touching him first,”

Kija had barely registered the words and he was falling back on Jaeha’s bed. Jaeha’s hands in his hair and mouth on his. Hak let out a sound of indignation and Jaeha was laughing and kissing Kija breathless as Hak started to pepper kisses on Kija’s face.

Kija really had never felt more loved in his entire life.

**Author's Note:**

> That was it, that was the fic. lol. It's so self indulgent. I must write more eventually.


End file.
